[0:19] Hello, everyone. I'm Jonathan. I'm Crystal. And this is Haunt Weekly,

[0:24] a weekly podcast for the haunted attraction and entertainment community. Whether you're an actor, owner, or just plain aficionado, we aim to be a podcast for you. And we return to you this week apologetic.

[0:38] Things due to the holidays got scrambled. Dates got moved around. We know we missed a week in all the chaos somewhere in there. And we are sorry about that. We are actually looking and talking about them. Hey, let us know if this is a decent idea. We're looking at making Friday our publication day. Now, why Friday? Because that's the day I usually have the lightest workload. I don't do my usual writing stuff, so I have more time to edit. And I can also record in the morning if I need to, too. Right. And it's the same for me. It is usually a lighter day at work. Yeah, Monday and Tuesday for both of us are pretty crazy days, typically. They're our busiest days, and squeezing Haunt Weekly, including recording, production, and all that is just tough. Yeah, I can already hear all the people, move it back to Sunday!

[1:26] The problem is the weekends get crazy, too. And they're going to get crazier, because we're going to be taking trips to St. Louis, especially around the weekends, in order to see the new grandbaby. Yes. So we're trying to future-proof things a little bit here. We're trying to give ourselves a little more leeway and hopefully give you guys a little more consistency because, yeah, things fell off the rails and we're trying to prevent that. So, does Friday work? Let us know what you think at HauntWeekly.com, HauntWeekly on Twitter, HauntWeekly on Facebook, and HauntWeekly on YouTube.com slash HauntWeekly. You can also find us wherever you get your podcasts from. Please do let us know. We are very, very curious.

[2:06] But, yeah, I mean, your job's just been brutal. Yeah, there's been a lot of things that I have to be in the actual office for. Which is not common. It's not. And we also had, you know, a little holiday slid in there. A little bit, yeah. Yeah, we ate way too much, or I did at least. Yeah. Drank way too much.

[2:25] Basically, I was testing the human capacity for stuffing and Jack Daniels over the course of the weekend. Turns out I did not reach the theoretical maximum. I have not died yet. Yeah. So, try again next year. But yes, indeed. So, we're going to try to get back on the rhythm starting Fridays. Let us know what you think. Yeah. And yeah, you said you've been out of the office doing things in your office, out of the house doing things in your office. Yes. So, and that's unusual. No, your office is really nice. It is.

[2:58] It's the size of a coffin. It is. It's very small. But we also had Ellie's two-year anniversary on Saturday. So we had planning and stuff that we did for that on Friday. Two-year anniversary? Yeah. Of the store. Oh, the store. The yarn stores. Not Ellie. We're coming up on 10 years. We did 10 years. No, we did 10 years. This is 11. Yes. We're on 11 now. No, no, no. The yarn store anniversary was last Saturday. Holy shit. You scared the fuck out of me. What anniversary did I miss? You didn't miss it. You were there and helping. Oh, my God. Don't pass out.

[3:41] Oh, my God. Don't do that to me ever again.

[3:46] I'll try not to. But anyway, yeah, so that's Small Business Saturday,

[3:50] which is what we're marking as the anniversary. Right. Before we jump into other things, we have a quick other housekeeping note from our good friend, Japes. Yes. lost souls christmas tour is going on they still have tickets it is uh december 14th and 15th if you are able to buy go to lost souls um chicago.com double check that i'm pretty sure i got that right though yeah lost shows no lost souls chicago.info.info god damn it it's.com Yeah, I clicked one too far to see the actual dates, and that took me to haunt pay. Yeah, and that's not the URL we want to hand out. That's a hell of a URL. But yes, lostsoulschicago.info is the URL. It's .com. Yeah, exactly. Like five people in the crowd got that joke, I'm pretty sure. But yes, check it out. I cannot recommend Lost Souls enough. It is a hell of a deal. Yeah. And if I were able to go, if I were able to get my ass to the Chicago area, I absolutely would. But we have alternate plans around that time. We will be making our way to St. Louis. Yes, we will. Pretty close to that. So we have a grandbaby to see, and that's terrifying.

[5:14] I informed my parents that they're now great-grandparents, and they threatened to murder me.

[5:20] Because if we can skip just to grandparents and that makes them great grandparents exactly that's i'm telling you man that's how fucking linear time works it is i told him that and went uh we don't like that very much and then there were vague threats of physical harm followed uh leave that there um but yes on that note everyone every week well when we do it uh we ask a question of the week last week's question of the week was what are you hoping to improve with your haunt next year um i'll start off chris gay and reggie wood uh both said the same thing their goal is to make their haunt more interactive um and honestly i think interactivity is a good thing but do be cautious about how that hurts your throughput yeah just remember you've got to find a balance there it's been my advice and also look for interactivity that doesn't impact throughput. Like when we went to Exiled, most of their interactivity was in the carnival. Yeah. We got more interactivity because we went into the trail later. And so the throughput wasn't as big of a deal.

[6:29] And I think that's one of the reasons they do the, quote-unquote, tier one tickets. Yeah, the tier ticketing. Tier one goes straight through. Different levels of interactivity. Big crowd of humanity, and you don't get any real interactivity. Tier two gets more. Tier three gets the most. But then again, it's also fewer people each tier. So, yeah, just something to think about. Yeah. Chuck Morrison said, this is our year of the actor. Year of the actor. Actor, actor, actor. A brand new employee lounge with TVs, dartboard, ping pong. How are you going to get them into the haunt? Yeah, I'm about to say, dude, I'm just hanging out in your lounge. Fuck the haunt. Individual loggers. Good idea on that one. Yeah. Full kitchen, couches, et cetera. It sounds like it's going to be a party place. All new outdoor space for employees. Picnic tables, patios, heaters, smoking area, and grass grill. Brand new costumes, makeups. So, basically, they're overhauling all of the backroom stuff. Well, they are also increasing the hourly pay to $15 an hour. Which is nice. That's nice. That's a living wage. Yeah. Well, quote-unquote living wage. I mean, I don't know what it is in your area. It depends on the area, but that's what's considered the flatline. Yeah. So, we'll leave it there. Oh, and employee-only restrooms. Oh, my God.

[7:53] You spoiled them rotten. Yeah. Yeah. I want to work for your own. Jesus Christ. Fuck this Bernie Baxter stuff. Let's go there. Well, we got to get through this year at least. Yeah, but the actors, do you want to tear all that up? No, they won't. They won't. No, they will not. They will not. They will appreciate it greatly. And Sam Farrell revoking the break time system for our workers. We made a last minute change this year that could really work well with some more thought and planning. So, yeah. Yeah. Honestly, finding a system that works, that's one of the challenges. What is a good idea for one haunt, especially when it comes to things like break timing, does not work everywhere. Right. You have to be willing to find what works for you, and you have to be willing to change it. Because as new people come, the culture of your haunt is going to change, and what works changes. So be willing to pivot. Be willing to shift. I agree.

[8:51] All right. Well, this week's question of the week is quite simple. What is the season of sales?

[8:58] So what was your best haunt related sale item or discount item that you got it doesn't necessarily have to be this year but i figure since it's a season of sales you probably got something pretty cool yeah i know what my pick is for hours and it was not from this year oh okay the new burning mask yeah that was from last year that was from last two years ago i thought two years yeah two years you're right two years ago that we got that from um uh cfx, Wasn't it a CFX? I don't know. No, no, no. It was Shattered FX. Yeah. Sorry, the names are so similar. I get them backwards. Yeah. We got them from Shattered FX. We actually got them on a Black Friday sale.

[9:39] And it was a huge discount. It made it actually so that we could use the donation money from that year to buy it and do not have to go out of pocket on it, which was wonderful. And the reason we had so much donation money was because that was the year we had opened after the three-year hiatus and just having a built haunt in our garage and no bills nothing to do so yeah it was it was really nice and that mask has worked out really well we have a tear on either side of the mouth that really isn't noticeable when the mouth's in position no it's not it just looks like spittle it doesn't even look like that necessarily especially in the dark, um yeah it's been a great mask and now that i feel comfortable getting it off and on and i'm I'm not hyperventilating every time I try to do it, because that's a big help. They really should send someone with it to teach you how to put the fucking thing on.

[10:35] Comes with a concierge to show you how to put your mask on. Well, I'm pretty sure if you buy it at Transworld, or order it ahead of Transworld and say you're going to pick it up there, they would be able to show you how there. I don't know if that's something they do or not. I don't know, really, but I would ask. I would ask, yeah. Take your mask with you. Take your mask with you or, like you said, pick it up there. Yeah. It's something you can't do. We couldn't because the Black Friday was too close. Because that was the year Trans World was way earlier. Yeah. So it would not have worked for us. But, hey, it's an idea at least. What's your thing?

[11:17] Well, I was just thinking about this year's purchases. Okay. And so far, it's probably the new stepladder.

[11:26] Oh, the one we just got. Yeah, because it means that I can reach up into the rafters of the haunt at any time and not have to stop. Up so that if the power goes out mysteriously and comes back on and we have something up in the ceiling i can turn it on without having to drag bernie from entertaining the crowd or anyone front of house because the me and feral both front of house.

[11:51] Uh yeah basically we on uh i can't was it amazon i think so we purchased a five step step ladder this is a nice one it's designed to hold 330 pounds so any grown-ass adult can get on it basically anyone at our house anyone at our house can get on it it's five steps so it easily gets you i think it actually is about five feet to the top tallest though yeah when you combine that with your height you're reaching nine feet up at least right and it's deep steps not those skinny little ones yeah and it's got handrails i mean and we've discussed this before that i don't have a fear of heights i have a fear of climb yeah which i learned is a completely different fear and i find that very interesting and i'm still a little shook by that revelation because i never could explain what was weird about me um but it's a fear of climbing and i do not get afraid climbing that i noticed that i was when we i tested it in the house immediately i couldn't go all the way to the top of the house because i literally would have gone through the ceiling yeah but the point is i did not have any uncertainty about it yeah I just went up, and that was great.

[12:57] So, yeah, that's a good purchase, and we got it about half off. Yeah. It was really, really inexpensive, especially given how much good ladders cost. Good one. All right.

[13:08] Well, on this note this week, we have just a fun thing we wanted to do. And this really should have been the question, but we didn't think about it at the time. Well, no, the sale thing is similar. Yeah, it is. It ties in. I don't know how many people have bought from here. Or just bought something really silly just to see what the quality actually was. Yes. We, way back early in the month, actually it was November 2nd. Yeah. And no, we're recording this December 5th, and we'll get on why in just a minute. We got a little tipsy, sitting at the bar, and we were thinking, man, let's see what there is on Teemu for haunters. Yeah. Now, we did this before with Wish, but I don't think we've ever done it with Teemu. No. I've never installed the Teemu app. After I got rid of Wish, I haven't done another one of those sites. Yeah, and honestly, I should never have installed it. But I've been very good. Because it used to be the problem is we'd have Wishmas. Yeah. We would go somewhere, get drunk, and then play around on Wish. And then like three weeks later, all this random shit shows up at our door that we completely forgot we bought. Yeah. So we have not had Teemu-mas ever. No.

[14:33] Everything that has been bought there has been bought deliberately the only thing i really buy from there honestly are lock pick sets to give away right and that's a perfectly legitimate use of it yeah um because those are the cheap two to three dollar ones here you go congratulations you picked a lock here's something to keep you going until you can get a good one type thing um but anyways uh we purchased a slew of random bullshit and basically the goal was we did not expect anything good no that was the rule we were not actually expecting anything good in fact we were expecting to mock it and mocking will be taking place i guarantee that yes um, But we decided if it is good, if we got surprised, we wanted to have a use for it.

[15:22] And so it had to be practical some way in the haunt. Unfortunately, you might notice we're recording this and we're going to be publishing this on December 5th slash 6th, that it took over a month for us to get this. Now, a week or two of us sitting on it. But the main thing was the majority of the order got held up at customs. Yeah. And I really am curious what the customs people thought about it. But anyways, so it sat in customs for like three weeks. I mean, Teemu felt so bad they gave us five bucks, which I could probably buy the company. I mean...

[16:00] Okay, maybe not. Not quite. So, yeah, basically we kept having to sit on this idea and sit on this idea. And now we have everything here finally. And we get to actually talk about it. Thank you. Heavens above. Yeah, and what we'll do is in a few days we'll take photos of what we got. Yeah. And put it side by side with what was advertised. Yeah, and we'll do that on Facebook.com slash Haunt Weekly. Yeah, exactly. So that you could see it and not just hear us talk about it. Okay. So the first thing, I paired these two together when I wrote the notes because I think they're about the same, really. Yeah, it made sense. We got two old man masks. Now, Bernie, as you know, as we talked about, is an old man. He's a Carnie Barker type character. And right now we use an old man mask from Shattered FX. Yes. So a very high-end mask. But we've used a lot of different masks for Bernie's. First was a Shattered... The current one's a Shattered FX mask. Before that was the DOA and the DOA Thin Mask, which is a very popular mask in the Haunt community. And in fact, it was the image of one of the masks we bought. Yes, it was.

[17:13] So it was literally advertising the old Bernie mask one step back. And then before that, we had a, God, it was like a $20 old man mask we got from somewhere. A little local costume shop. Yeah, a local costume shop. And before that, the very first one was a $5 witch mask from Walmart. Yes. We have no photos of the $20 one, I don't think. I would not be able to find it. But we have plenty of the witch mask. We have plenty of the one that came out and plenty of the one, the DOA mask. But I much prefer the SPFX mask and the look of it. And I love when kids go, is that your real face?

[17:52] And I'm like, I don't know. Is it? You tell me. And that freaks the kids out because you don't know if that's your own fate. Yeah. It's kind of disturbing. It is. So, you get that question. That's my suggestion for a response. Yeah. Go ahead. The reason we purchased these is because this is the year that we tell Bernie's story. And so, we're going to be putting multiples of them in the haunt. Yes. And so, we thought, well, if they're good enough quality, we could put them in there. They could very least be on a dummy. Yeah. They could be hanging from the ceiling or, you know, something like that. Yeah. Or, like, in the background. Or do, like, the whole of heads from Return to Oz with Bernie's. Yeah. That would be creepy as fuck. Exactly. Especially if one starts screaming it. Right. Yes. Oh, dude, I just had an idea for a scare. We can tell you ripped that off. But anyways. Okay, but moving on. So we got two old men masks. One actually advertised as the DOA mask, which is bald. And the second one had little tufts of hair around it. And in the photo, it looked like the stuck-on, the actual put-in hair.

[19:11] Now, right off the bat, these nearly fucking killed me. Because these have been, these are some things that have been sitting in customs. So they've been sitting somewhere really hot, I'm suspecting. And when we opened the bag, the smell of melted rubber or whatever the fuck that material is, silicone, whatever it is, was just immediately overwhelming. Toxic gas. I mean, I'm someone who has GI issues, and I'm getting better about my triggers. I've been getting better over the years. I've been doing much, much better with my stomach. Right. I think that's pretty obvious to everyone in my life. But some of the triggers, though, are hard to avoid. Stress is one. And another one is fucking terrible smells when they ambush you out of a Timu bag. This just, like, triggers GI issues. It was so bad. It was terrible. And so we had to let them air out for a few minutes. Just now clear them out. And then literally peel the fuckers apart. And then we got a look at them. Now, we had paid $15 for each of these. Mm-hmm. And like I said, one of them was the DOA mask, at least in the photo. And if it had been even a knockoff of the DOA mask, it would have been a deal. Because the DOA mask typically goes for $60 to $80. Right. So this would have been a huge deal. It was not that.

[20:38] No. These look like cheap Walmart or Target masks at best. And that's putting it kind. Yeah. Yeah, so they don't have a lot of depth in the sculpt. No. Which is... What depth? Yeah, exactly. So it's... And I can tell you've been watching Halloween Wars with that comment. Yeah. There's so much depth in the sculpt of the pumpkin. Well, not only that, but whenever I was painting miniatures.

[21:07] You could tell which ones were sculpted better because you got more, you know, the cracks were deeper and stuff. The detail is deeper into it. Whereas if you 3D print something, you may not get as much detail in it as you would a hand sculpted. And now that is becoming quickly not true because people are getting better and better with the designs. And the 3D printers are getting better, too. Exactly. I mean, some of these 3D printers are getting killer. Yeah. But, yeah, they don't look very detailed. They don't look good. We even checked them out in a couple of different lightings. We're not impressed. The hair was just painted lightly, and it didn't really look like hair to me. No, it was not actual hair. Yeah, it's very, very silly. And the one thing that was weird is I did eventually, after they aired out fully, put them on. Neither of them fit my head. Well, and you also said there were visibility issues. Oh, there were tons. Well, one of the problems is, okay, I have a large head. This has been an established problem for me over the years. Yeah, it's large and oddly shaped. Yes, I have a large head. I'm very aerodynamic.

[22:25] I have a very narrow face in the head but it goes back forever i'm like a reverse cone head um but the so when i put these on i was surprised when they fit loose front to back, i've never had a mask do that so when like a normal headed person this is going to be all over the shop this is going to be moving everywhere and i guess they did that i mean One thing I noticed is the slit in the back goes way too far up. Yeah. That's probably part of it.

[22:55] Yeah, you're right. Since I couldn't get the eye holes to sit on my eyes, I could not see out of them. I was perpetually losing about half of my vision. It was just a complete miserable thing to wear. I would not put an actor of mine in that mask. No. Now, I am curious, because they are on the cheaper side, if I could turn one of them into one of the stockings mask. You know, cut it apart, put it onto stockings. Yeah, it may be detailed enough to do that. Yeah. And you may be right. It may be detailed enough to do that, and it may be cheap enough to do that. Maybe that sweet spot between the two. And especially if you went through and, like, deepened the wrinkles and the... Well, yeah, I could paint it. And paint on top of it. Yeah. You could bring out that depth more. It'd probably be better. I really do think that someone who's really good at painting and maybe doing a stocking mask like you're talking about could make something out of these. Yeah. But as they are, they're going to take a lot of work to get them to be useful. Yeah. And like I said, visibility in them is utter shit. I cannot stress that enough. They don't look good. And they are not at all what was advertised in either case.

[24:10] So, this was a miss, but it was more of a traditional Timu miss, where it's like, okay, yeah, I kind of expected to get ripped off this way on Timu. Right. We've ordered masks before, and I'm like, Wish, this is what happens. You know, you order something like that, they're going to put a photo of a really kick-ass mask, and you're going to get some bare bargain basement Walmart clearance bullshit. Yeah, I don't even think it's Walmart quality, honestly. I mean, it's really bad. It's a rough mask. All right. So item two, the smile mask. This was another one that was stuck together, but it only cost $10. So we're 50%. It's 25. It's 33% off the other two. Right. And we wanted to call it out separately because it actually wasn't that bad. Like the material was thicker than the other two. Yeah.

[25:07] The fit was better. The fit was way better. You could see out of it. And I plan on actually, you know, modifying this one to be a character in the Haunted Show. Yeah, I think you can do that. Yeah. The visibility isn't terrible in it. It has a mesh over the eyes and the mouth. Right. I don't know how breathable it might be. I haven't worn it long enough to test. And visibility is still challenging, but it's like normal, not silicone mask challenging. Right. It's more, and this is something I feel like I could work in because the mask stayed put. Which is like the aggravating thing about the other two. It was not just that the visibility was bad. I can work around bad visibility. It's that the visibility kept fucking changing. It wanted to spin around your head. Oh, man. But here's the thing that was crazy. It's literally what it said on the tin.

[25:58] Yeah. The picture is identical to the mask. And the thing is, there's not a lot of detail in it, but that's the goal. Yeah. That's how it was supposed to be. It's a smooth mask with big eyes, big creepy looking eyes, and a giant smile that literally goes from ear to ear. Yeah. I think it's based on the movie smile. I haven't seen it. I believe so. I have not seen it either. But it looks really genuinely creepy. It is exactly what the image had. The material was thicker, as you noted. Visibility was not making me want to throw it out the window.

[26:36] I mean, I don't know, man, $10? Yeah. Damn, that's actually kind of a deal. I actually feel pretty good about the one. I mean, literally, of everything we bought. And it's kind of sad that something that we're literally saying is what was advertised. Right. We're calling it the winner. Yeah. But it is. I think it's the winner. I think this one is the winner. Spoiler. But you didn't come here for the fucking winner, did you? No. No, no, no, no, no. We know what you came for. You came to hear me go off on some shit. Give it time. Yeah. Keep listening. Keep listening. because the next one also was kind of a win.

[27:18] We got two 12-inch black lights. They cost $11.00. This year, we did more blacklight than we ever have before. Yeah. Typically, we do stay away from it, but we found a way to incorporate it both in the yard display and in the haunt in very cool and fun ways. Yeah. And ways that didn't feel cheesy and blacklight is the main thing. Exactly. Because that's the thing about blacklight is usually when we've seen it in haunts, it's like, ooh, blacklight is the scare. Look, you know. Yeah. Everything's glowing. that shouldn't be glowing and i'm like i don't want to do that and the two things we did was one we used black light to make our wave maker glow so it wasn't the black light that was the feature it was the glowy slinky right that was interactive for our yard and looked really freaking cool i might add yeah and the room with the uh darkroom timer yes your genius ass came up with yeah that changed it from regular lighting to black lighting and the scare there wasn't the black lighting, it was that, oh shit.

[28:26] All the lighting just changed and all this invisible stuff just became visible. Yeah. And the actor in it now glows. A lot. So it was more about the change of the lighting, the sudden shock of the change of the lighting, than it was the black light itself. We realistically could have done that with almost any color light, but the black light afforded us some opportunities to play around with it. Yeah. It could have changed like a red light or something else and it would have been just as a factor. And we may do that next year. But anyways, we've played the blacklight more, so now we own some pretty hefty blacklights. Yes. We own blacklights that have coolers. No? I'm not even kidding. So anyways, we were thinking, well, maybe we could pick up a couple small blacklights for use somewhere in the hall. Yeah. And to that end, these were...

[29:17] They're adequate. They're brighter than expected. They are the cheapest filling plastic. Oh, God, the cover on them. Yeah. It might as well not even be there for my money. It is just a strip of LED black lights, like the tape lights. Yeah, the tape lights. Inside of the smallest, most brittle plastic. Like, you know the plastic tubes that you sometimes get things shipped in? Yeah. Yeah, it's like that stuff. Or the... that cracks really easy. Yeah.

[29:49] I'm trying to think, like, or, you know. Well, we bought some light protectors that are for fluorescent bulbs that are tubes. Yeah. And it's basically that. It's the really thin plastic. It's really thin, really cheap. I did like that they are USB-C powered. Yes, that was cool. I also like the fact they have magnetic backs that were actually reasonably strong. Um they are not very bright no they're they say they're 10 watt each i'm not sure they're even that um because they're also very purple and like we've been learning more about black light and like the bluer your black light is the more the pop is these are extremely purple these are more purple than our lights and our lights are still fairly purple but yeah yeah i think this would be kind of cool if you could incorporate it into a costume somehow yeah and you might be able to with that usbc power yeah um and also the magnet might not hurt either exactly so yeah you could um you could make this work and they like i said they said they are what they say they are pretty much and they include some really long cords um the problem is after we got them i started looking at other deals yeah um basically you can get the exact same set almost identical on Amazon for $10.

[31:12] So we could have saved a dollar and not waited a month for it. Right. And you can also get, if you want more juice, if you want a little more chooch, you know, for your black light, you can get a 36-watt bar from Amazon for $14. So just pay a few bucks more and you can literally get almost double the power. Yeah. And the ones that we bought for the yard. Yeah. She's looking it up in the Amazon just so you know.

[31:43] Yeah we got two they were 76 watt yeah it was a two pack of them so we paid 20 for each four of them exactly and they're available to go outside even at rate yeah and these are not outdoor um so yeah honestly they're fine yeah but you can get better deals pretty much anywhere you look you could probably get better deals at like walmart or lowe's or something i mean black Blacklight has gotten really affordable sometime, I guess, since they moved to LED. And you can get some pretty powerful black. Those $40 sets of two, two of those did an entire 20-foot slinky. Yeah. Not an exaggeration. So, and I think two of those was all we needed to transition that one room. It was, and it's not a small room. No. It's a 10-foot by 10-foot room. Yeah. 10 square feet. So, yeah, and that was really making things pop. That was really going nuts with it. So, yeah, you're fine. Just not a great deal. Yeah, and what I may do is I may post, I took a little video of the Blacklight Changing Room. So I may post that as a comment on Facebook to this episode. That's a good idea.

[33:01] So if you're interested in it, look for the comment to this episode. All right. Well, item four, I think, was our drunken purchase. I honestly don't remember why we bought this. I don't know. I mean, I'm sure we had a reason in a moment. But we bought a selfie light. And it cost $9. And here's the thing. I'm sure we had something for it. Damned if I can remember it. It comes with a tripod, phone clamp, all that usual stuff. And much like the black lights, it's fine. Yeah. It does everything it says on the tin. And unlike the black lights, though, it is actually cheaper than similar deals you can find on Amazon. I was not able to find anything in the ballpark of this. Granted, I mean, we're only talking like, you know, it's $20 instead of $9. So, it's not like it's so much better, it's worth the wait type thing. Especially if it gets held up in customs for a month. Yeah.

[34:02] But it can do warm, neutral, or cool light. It can brighten or dim. I've got several ring lights in this room right now because I sometimes shoot YouTube videos in here.

[34:15] And it works just as well or unwell as any of those. I don't have anything to say. I don't remember when we bought this one, and I think this was the only time we broke our rule about stuff that we were going to use in the haunt. Maybe we were thinking that this could be used for some spotlighting or something. Or maybe we were just, like, $10 away from free shipping. That's also possible. That actually sounds more like us. That sounds like something that we would do. That actually does. Or $10, no, wait, I think I remember it now. I think we were $10 away from $20 off. Oh, okay, yeah, yeah. So basically, we got this, and I think it was something like that. So I'm not going to say too much about it. It's adequate. No. It's probably better than the Black Light, just because it's a better deal, but not by much. Yeah. So item five. Oh, God, no. Oh, fucking, fucking, fuck, fuck, fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. So this is called the Broken Hand Decoration Prop. That is literally the title, yes. Yes. You just read it. It was $4.50. At least it was cheap. It looked like it was their knockoff of thing that's basically the shape and everything yeah the way the hand stands up yeah it has the fingers on the ground it does have stitches on it like frankenstein's monster exactly yeah like why would you stitch everyone i don't know moving on you Keep going. Keep going. Don't let me distract you. Eyes on target.

[35:44] So it doesn't look bad. No.

[35:49] The coloring's a little bit off and flat, but whatever. The coloring is... I thought the coloring was pretty good, personally. Yeah. And the stitching does look deep and detailed. It does. So... So, then it comes the time for us to display it. Yes. And we put it on a flat surface, and it falls over.

[36:11] It had one fucking job! Yeah. To stand up. And it can't do it. And the reason is the pinky finger on it is too short and the weight is distributed in such a way that it goes toward the pinky finger. Yep, every time. And so unless you put like a book or something under the pinky finger to hold it up, it will literally dump over on the pinky finger side every fucking time. Yes, because we're like, well, maybe we're the dumb ones. Maybe it's not supposed to look like a thing. Maybe it's supposed to sit on the wrist. Nope, that is also not the answer. No, it does not sit on the wrist at all. It dumps over onto the back of the hand, and it does not show it that way in any of the photos.

[36:54] Try pulling the fingers apart a little bit. They don't stay. They want to break. Yep. They want to break rather than move. They're not bendable. And even if they were bendable, it wouldn't help because the problem is the finger's too short. Exactly. It doesn't, like, the thumb, index, middle, and ring finger all touch. Mm-hmm. Pinky finger does not. And I think the reason is I'm holding my hand in the position. My pinky doesn't quite touch when I hold that position, too. I have to kind of, you know. So you think that they actually molded it off of somebody's hand? I think they did. And they did not consider standing the motherfucker up. Yeah. I think that's what happened. Because you're able to put your hand in that position because of muscles and skeletal. Yeah. And I can hold it up because I got an arm and a shoulder and other body parts that can support it. But if you. Okay. But yeah. So if I do like that, I can hold it up. But the minute, if you chopped it off right there, the hand's going to fall over. Yeah. Because my pinky ain't tight. Well, because also the bones and the muscles are going to stop working. But also because the pinky's too short.

[37:55] So, yes, I think it's because they molded off someone's hand and never bothered to test whether that would actually work. Yeah. Because if they'd extended the pinky by, like, half an inch, it probably would be fine. It would probably be one of the top things on this list. But right now, all we got is a fucking useless hand. Yeah. So I think that I could probably, like, glue a fake fingernail onto it, and that would be enough. Yeah, it really would not take that much. You could even do like an armor ring or something like that on it. Something to give it like a little extra half inch or so. And, but yeah, it's half an inch to an inch. It's not much. But my God, it's frustrating. We tried so hard to make this fucker stand up. And like you said, we thought it was us that was the problem for the longest time. No, no, no. We gotta be the idiots. Claire, this looks way too good. You team who wouldn't sell us something stupid. That didn't do its one fucking job. Yes. Yes, they will. All right. Item six.

[38:58] We've got to step into a little controversy here. And we want to do this like the honest and total way. Okay. Item six was a pair of the Halloween finger extensions. And they call $7.50 for two hands. Now, we are probably about all familiar with Gary Faye's articulated fingers. They have been everywhere. Yes. Well-deserved. He was featured on Tested by Adam Savage. Adam just fucking loved him. Remember he watched the video before this? Yeah. He fucking, like, spat, joy-gassened over these things. Lady Gaga wore them on an album cover and apparently is part of a costume. Yes, and is using them on tour. Yeah. So these things are awesome. And unfortunately for Gary, and he's talked a lot about this online and elsewhere, about how this brought out the rip-off artist. Yes. And part of it is because his do cost $200 Australian dollars, which is about $130 per USD per pair. Not cheap. But it's also, you know, for the quality of it, that's not a bad price because it is a very eye-catching detail. It's a very eye-catching detail. And as we're going to discuss, I don't trust these fuckers.

[40:21] You, okay, so we did buy a pair off of Teemo. Yeah, we bought a knockoff pair. A knockoff pair. No, we bought a knockoff pair. Sorry. Gary's are great. I've never had the chance to use them, unfortunately, but I talk to people who have, people I trust, so I know that they are high quality. Yes. And his are also, well, we'll get into it. But if you want some, definitely go to g-a-r-y-f-a-y-creations.com.

[40:51] All one word, spushed together, and look at his because they're a much better quality. There's so much better quality. He offers a variety of colors. They come pre-assembled. Yeah. We're going to talk about it as a big fucking deal.

[41:05] You can custom color them, and you can size them to your fingers.

[41:09] And that is a huge part of the problem with these. we're going to get exactly so yeah basically i want this to be a this is why you should buy gary phase not woohoo look at us we got 750 articulated fingers a team of yeah i i no no see here's the thing while i'm loathe to give money to copycats i wanted to see if they worked yeah because i was halfway confident they wouldn't work now i can say this they do quote unquote work but after playing with these for some time i can confidently say i want to get a pair of garry's exactly that is what that's where i am right now because if i'm going to do this um i want to get garry's because there's some significant issues with these uh basically both sets are 3d printed garry's are 3d printed and these are 3d printed as well but you.

[42:02] Can see that these are cheap 3d printed yes and he actually does say they're 3d printed on there so right and but here's the thing um the first problem is the motion of these and i've actually got them right here beside us i never actually bothered to assemble them because they didn't come assembled and they came with like a card telling you how to tie it together but anyways is that the motion is not smooth or predictable it's not fluid at all And I had the problem of because the way it is put together.

[42:40] The individual fingers.

[42:45] The hinge. Oh, the hinge, yeah. Kept popping out at the knuckle. Yeah. Because they're not sized to fingers. Well, they didn't stay together. And they also aren't sized. Yeah. I mean, we have different sized fingers, and my fingers, these are way too loose. My finger wants to rattle in them. Yeah. And so as I play with it, it wants to slide off. Yours, it wants to pop off the damn hinge. Yeah. Because I have giant fingers. Lana. Yes. No, but the point is, so somehow these managed to work for neither of our hands, which is pretty fucking impressive. It is. I think it would work for one of us. Like I said, they do work, and they didn't break in my testing. All of them are still, like I said, I never bothered to actually assemble them because the instructions were confusing and difficult. I actually would really appreciate these to come assembled. But I've been able to play with them on my fingers and all that. And get a lot of it and the other problem i have is these feel so cheap and flimsy that i am scared they're going to break just playing around with them oh yeah as soon as you hit them on something like i mean i've been sitting there like if i tap on that it's going to break because it feels.

[44:02] So cheap and like you said you popped out a hinge with just the side of your knuckle Yeah. I mean, yeah, these are really, really cheap. They are not good in any way, shape, or form. And I cannot imagine doing anything like, you see people taking Gary's and putting makeup on them. And adding, like, molding them into a costume. And using them to pick up things or grabbing at things, running them along walls, stuff like that. These would not hold up to that. No. I mean, when I first got these, I got them on my finger. I went, ooh, that's cool. And then after that, after that initial, ooh, that's cool, the honeymoon period was over. I really do want to try a pair of Gary's at some point. I know he's got a lot of work. He says he's like seven months. Lead time is like seven months right now on him or something. Yeah. So I know he's busy, but, jeez, I would much rather play with one of those just because these are, frankly, terrible.

[45:03] Um yeah they are incredibly cheap but you get what you pay for on this one yeah i exactly i don't think these are going to be anything more than a fidget toy beside my desk and i mean that literally like i have sometimes when i'm sitting here thinking i'm working on pt been like, i i think that's honestly the best use for them yeah so if you want a fidget toy yeah, Here you go. You want actual fucking articulated fingers that you can use in a haunt setting? Talk to Gary. Yeah. I think that's fair. And he also has several other designs, too, that look really, really cool. Yeah. I was looking at the finger things, which are basically like Wolverine claws. Yeah, they look like claws. Yeah. Where these look like just Slenderman hands. Mm-hmm. So, yeah. Honestly, I feel bad for Gary, and I am loathe to give even the $7 to Copycats, but yeah, this just confirmed that you should buy from Gary. Yeah. That's the end story. I had to see for myself that these were terrible, and yeah, they kind of were. All right, item number seven. Mm-hmm. The Horror Props Hanging Corks.

[46:24] It cost $9.50, and it featured a photo of a corpse in a trash bag type thing with tape around it. And they showed it in a variety of settings, hanging from the ceiling, in a bathtub, laying on the ground, doing lots of things. Look, there's no... We can't get around this. There's no way to say this, but we bought a sex doll. We didn't mean to. Was not the plan. And if we were going to buy a sex doll, we wouldn't buy this cheap piece of shit. Well, yeah, because it can't be used for that. But it is a blow-up doll. In a literal sense. It is a blow-up doll. It does not have, like, the holes for the sex doll thing. But in every other way, it is a sex doll. Yes. It is the same color, same shape, same size. And if you brought this to a bachelor or bachelorette party, people are going to think it's a sex doll. Yes. Without a face. So you would have to, like, tape the brighter groom's face. Or just get a Sharpie and add it on or something. I don't know. Fuck. But, no, it basically comes in four pieces. The sex doll part. Yes. Which I'm just grateful that the valve wasn't on the penis. No.

[47:43] A very thin, like, I didn't know you could make plastic tarp this, and it felt more like a rental trap type thing, you know? Black tarp and the tiniest roll of duct tape I have ever seen in my life. So cute. And so basically it is some assembly required you might say to get the effect. You have to first blow up the doll which we have not done because fuck that. Nope. You then have to wrap it in the tarp yourself and then put the tape around it. Yes. It's basically a sex doll that you gift wrap.

[48:20] Yeah. Yeah. We thought it was going to be closer to one of those fabric dolls that have a little bit of padding in it that run for about 60, like a cheaper version of that. Yeah. That's what I was honestly expecting. Yeah, me too. I was expecting something like, yeah, like the spirit fabric dolls, what you're talking about. Yeah. Spirit dummy, something like that. I thought the scam was going to be, it was going to be like way smaller. Yeah, like four inches tall. Yeah, or maybe even just like three feet tall or something. Yeah, yeah. I thought it was going to be like ridiculously tiny because we didn't pay close attention to the sizing. No. So I figured that's how we were going to get screwed on that one. I did not for the life of me imagine we get a genderless sex doll. Yeah. Well, it's non-binary. We've got to refer to it as they them.

[49:14] Yes. No, but it's basically a genderless sex doll that you have to wrap. I mean, because, hey, at that point, why even give us the tarp? We have trash bags. No. Because it has the little bloodstains on it. It's a black tarp. Yeah, with little red spots. I can't see the fucking red spots. I'm not even 100% sure there are red spots. There are. Yeah.

[49:43] Maybe they're only on one side and you were looking at the other side or maybe it's a black tarp and red spots don't show up on it very well well that is also true i mean jeez anyway either way it is shit it doesn't matter i mean i'm not that is a lot of work like we can build a dummy, with what we have on hand faster than we could assemble that oh yeah definitely easily that That would be a fun little video. Like, I sit there and try to inflate. Because if I try to inflate it, you're going to win because I suck at inflating things. I would need like a bicycle pump or something. I think I could still make a dummy. Oh, I think you could. Before you could inflate it with a bicycle pump. I think you could actually do it faster. Exactly. I think you do it faster and bigger. Yeah. Because you become a whiz at stuffing those hazmat suits. Exactly. So just get some clothes, stuff that shit in there. Mm-hmm. Then throw it in a trash bag. Boom. You're done. Yeah. Yeah, that's my favorite way to make bodies. Yeah. Is to stuff those. Every year we have a body stuffing day. Well, not every year. We didn't have one this year. No. Yeah. But we still had bodies from last year that I just threw on a countertop. Yeah. They're wrapped in tarp.

[51:05] Yeah, but, I mean, basically, yeah, that's our favorite way to do it. We get those painter's suits with the hood. With the hood. If we have an extra, like, head, like one of the wig heads, we'll stick it in the top. Yeah, wig heads, and also a good source for those are beauty schools, because people can only use their practice heads once. Which is wild. Yeah, so then the school's got all of these weird deformed haircuts. That no one knows. We don't give a shit about. Yep. It's just going in a fucking hazmat type suit. So yeah, you put it in, you stuff the arms, legs, and torso with whatever random bullshit cloth or extra clothing you have to hand. Put the head in. Throw it in a garbage bag. Bosh, Bob's your uncle. You're done. Yeah. It's that easy. So anyways, what's the shit we learned from all this? We learned things? Yeah. First is I would say don't try to get anything detailed. Yeah. There's a reason the smile mask is our winner and the other two masks are a fucking joke with us. Simple things are best. The more complexity and the more detail, the more disappointment. Yeah, it's kind of like you don't buy things with moving parts from Harbor Freight. Yeah. Though supposedly Harbor Freight's gotten better. Okay. Not that I'm ever going to find out. Fine. Spirit.

[52:29] Ooh, yeah, that one is definitely true. Yeah. Done again, I don't buy things without moving parts from Spirit. Like, I don't buy their costumes because they have the durability of a gingerbread space station. No.

[52:41] Anyways, before you buy, check other sites. Timu is not automatically the best deal, as we learned on the fucking black lights. Especially can we factor in the wait time. And finally, probably not worth it anyways. We spent about 89 i think it was 89.50 was our total we spent about 90 we did not get 90 worth of usable stuff no not at all even if i priced the selfie ring the black lights and the smile mask for their actual cost if we bought them locally yeah i think that would only add up to about 50, yeah and that's assuming the smile mask is like 30 or so you know what i mean and you may be able to get variations of it cheaper, but yeah, it was not worth what we paid for it. And looking at what you're checking out on Amazon, I'm overvaluing the smile mask greatly. We probably got closer to $30 worth of stuff that we can actually do something with. So the other stuff just was either a sex doll with gift wrapping it was a hand that falls over um or it was just not what was advertised it was flagrantly false advertising so real quick before we clock out of here i i i wrote my rankings feel free to disagree with this um.

[54:08] The top item, okay, I'm actually rearranging it here after talking about it. The top item was the smile mask. Yeah. Genuinely good looking. $10 mask. Great deal. Cannot complain about that. Next up is the black lights. They are what they are. They're fine. It's a fair price. It's not a good price, but we definitely can use them. Definitely can have some use for them. Third item would be selfie ring. I mean, it's a better deal than the Black Lights, but I just don't see how we're going to use it. I really wish I could remember what the conversation was about picking those. I bet it was either the discount or the free shipping. But either way, it's fine. It's a little bit cheaper than what I can readily get elsewhere, but not much, and we did wait forever for it. After that, the old men masks, which you know this list is shit. When the old men masks are fourth from the bottom. The old men masks, I guess we might be able to use them on a dummy. We might be able, especially the one without the hair that doesn't look quite so stupid. Yeah, no, don't go into the haunt somewhere. They're just not on an actual person. We're never going to put them on an actual person. After that, the fifth item is the finger extensions.

[55:31] I got a neat fidget toy for when I'm writing, and that's about it. I got an idea of what a real pair from Gary would look like. Yeah, and that may be the best thing about these knockoffs, is the showroom effect. I probably would not have been curious about a Gary Faye Creations, one of these, if I had not gotten these. Because now that I see what they're supposed to be, and what they can be, I kind of want one. I kind of want at least one hand. Maybe a pair. The sixth item is the hand yeah what the fuck.

[56:10] How do you not make it stand up oh my god yeah they didn't check that oh and it's bad because the coloring is a little off but fine and the stitching actually looks good and it's got deep detail and then you gotta set it on a table and boom yep, Oh, my God. They put, I mean, they clearly put some time and energy into this. Just not in the part that fucking mattered. Right. But the worst on the list, item number seven, has to be the fucking dummy. Oh, my God. It's a sex doll. I don't know how else to describe it. Fill it with helium and attach it to a, make it into a balloon. You know, and we can legally do that in New Orleans because it's not Mylar. Yep. Long story on that one. Well, on that note, everyone, I think we're done.

[57:05] Yeah. Thank you very much for joining us for the past hours we bitch about Teemu. Please check out other Haunt Weekly content. We're at Haunt Weekly.com, Haunt Weekly on X slash Twitter, Haunt Weekly on Facebook, and YouTube.com slash Haunt Weekly. You can also find us wherever you get your podcasts from. We're on all the various places. Until next time, I'm Jonathan. I'm Crystal. and this has been Home Weekly episode 467 about T-Move Byes next is 468 divisible by 4 that means it's time to do the news we will see you all next week.